Peter Capaldi

Born in Glasgow, young Peter Capaldi did all he could to escape the horror of daily life in the city and elected to rise to stardom in a progressive rock band. This part of his life was fictionalized by Ian Banks in his novel (PROSE: Espedair Street).

The tide turned and Peter moved towards greener pastures in acting, starring in some unfunny sitcoms poorly satirizing British politics. After a period of minor irrelevance, Peter graduated to major irrelevance with his new role on Doctor Who, plunging millions of teenage girls and /who/sers alike to utter, deep, despair. The remainder of /who/ coped by claiming he was a certain variety of horned animal, which somehow led to a new golden age.

At his new job, Peter had to resist Jenna's mind control powers with great difficulty, but this was abated by the introduction of a new character, Peal Mackie as Bill (anus) which took his mind off things. Sensing his luck was running out, Peter jumped ship and was rescued by the gracious hand of capeshit, enabling him to join Christopher Spotteddick among the ranks of hypocritical actors.

He is fondly remembered by /who/ and vicioulsy hated by a certain Moffsperg. His episodes were the kindling for the very prolific fire that was Simon's reviews (Simon of course being a notable Moffag). This was a severe dent in Capaldi's reputation and doomed the general to many more months of RTDcocksucking (because of course classic doesn't exist).