Jodie Whittaker



Judith Gurnsley Whitedoctor (née Nicefeetaker) was, according to some accounts, an actress. She portrayed the Timeless Child in Chris Chibnall's unofficial sequel to the 2005-2017 reboot of Doctor Who. Cast for her ability to grin widely with a Yorkshire accent, she did so in extreme lens-flared closeups from 2018 to 2022, becoming the nation's darling for about five minutes during War of the Sontarans.

Cute
Jodie is cute.

Early life
Jodie grew up in a foetid crag known as The North, giving her a characteristic vocal drawl and high resistance to poison. Born on the 17th of June, 1982, she became the Doctor at 36, the same age as Paul McGann, but quickly dwarfed his TV output by her third episode. In her youth, she did not watch Doctor Who, which goes some way to explain her cheery demeanour and lust for life.

Cute!
Jodie is cute!

Career
? became an extra in Broadchurch after agreeing to sexual favors for Chris Chibnall while David Tennant masturbated in the corner.

As the Doctor
Jodie's breakout role was in Doctor Who, a science fiction show about time travel. After the departure of Petra Gazpachi and his writer Stefan Moffyneux, Chris Chibnall was handed a show he didn't want to do, a list of cast and crew quotas to fulfil, and presumably some kind of sexual blackmail. With no notice to run auditions, he approached the two most bankable pieces of meat from Broadchurch, but discovered one of them was a white male who had already played the Doctor eleven years before. With that, as the last and only woman standing, Jodie was smuggled into Cardiff, handed a blank cheque, and dropped off at a charity shop to choose the wardrobe. Her stipulations were threefold:


 * 1) A tasteless rainbow coat to wear at all times
 * 2) Enormous clodhopping boots to totally conceal her feet
 * 3) Short trousers with braces to totally expose her knees

Not many actors would have gotten away with this, stripping any sense of style from the show's main character and completely downplaying her trumpeted and unprecedented femininity, but Jodie did, because she's cute.

For some reason, Chibnall forbade her from watching any previous episodes of Doctor Who; this could have detracted from her performance, but as she doesn't portray any sort of consistent character whatsoever it's not really an issue. For her whole run she went in ignorance, approximating an extra-caffeinated primary schoolteacher trying to get her RTDchad students' attention, and being mogged into oblivion by fans of the show and newcomers who bothered to catch up.

Despite all this, for all her faults, we still love her.

Why?
Because she's cute.

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