Chibnall Lore

Once upon a time, in 2019
Quick update on all of the news recently.

Apparently after having been pressured off the show by the BBC on Monday, Chris Chibnall returned to BBC Wales’ head offices yesterday.

The following report on what happened next has appeared on several sites, some more credible than others, but has been reported by multiple independent witnesses with close ties to the show.

Chibnall reportedly demanded to take creative control of what was to be Whittaker’s final scene as the Doctor. BBC head offices apparently denied this request, stating that good ratings, positive critical reception, and a relatively smooth production cycle during Series 11 were eclipsed by a Reddit post claiming that Chibnall occasionally struggles with characterization in some episodes. Which is obviously grounds for his dismissal.

Chibnall apparently responding by shouting "I hate the fans! Doctor Who belongs to me!!"

This was followed by him tearing his shirt open as his body started to slowly transform. He grew to approximately 10 feet (3.05 m) tall with a far more musical body structure. His skin also appeared to have a pronounced green tint to it. He reportedly claimed "I hate Doctor Who! But if it wasn’t for the fans on Reddit who correctly identified my tenure on the show as an effort to sabotage it from the inside, I would have gotten away with it! But alas it must come to this!"

It is still unclear what occurred immediately after this statement, but several screaming sounds were reportedly heard by others in BBC Wales’ head office. The police have since been dispatched.

The future of the show is now uncertain.

I’ll try to keep everyone updated.

Hope, at last
Ok everyone, as of this morning, I’ve had some new information come in from two of the sources who provided me with the original details. Still not 100% confirmed but everything seems genuine so far.

So apparently RTD was called to BBC Wales after a small skirmish between local police and Chris Chibnall which left several officers dead and several more underwritten. There have been several eyewitness reports of a confrontation between the two men.

RTD reportedly said "This ends here Chris, you’ve gone too far this time!"

Chibnall replied "You torchwouldn’t have the balls to take me on!" (sic) RTD apparently expanded to Chibnall’s stature and the two men began to fight. While further police assistance did arrive, there was little they could do to assist RTD. They instead focused on evacuating the BBC Wales’ head office.

Tragically, it is being reported that RTD has died as a result of injuries obtained during his struggle with Chibnall. Having been thrown through the window towards the top of the building, bystanders overheard his dying words. These have been reported as inconsistent but the general idea seems to be corroborated by each report.

He apparently cried "We spent so long criticizing his creative decisions, we didn’t have enough time to question his moral ones."

Russell T. Davies: 1963-2019

I will try to keep this thread updated, but there is a lot of misinformation spreading around. I will need to independently verify everything, so stay here if you want the most reliable source of information.

I can, however, tell you that Doctor Who Magazine has announced an RTD memorial edition to be released at the end of September and Davies has been granted the title of "honorary straight" by the west Bromley wing of the Doctor Who Appreciation Society.

More information as soon as I get it.

Testimonies
Trying to keep up with all of the information that’s flowing in but a lot of it is hard to verify so I will report it as soon as I can say it with reasonable certainty.

In the meantime, several mainstream news outlets have taken up the story. Most notably the UK newspaper The Mirror, which Doctor Who fans will know by its reputable reputation for getting things right.

Not a whole lot of new information, but they have gotten comments on the situation from several people who have been involved in the show which I shall share word for word as they appear in the article. Bradley Walsh: "It’s very difficult to take right now. I’m still not really sure what to say, still gathering my thoughts, still in shock. My thoughts and prayers go out to those who have been affected."

Christopher Eccleston: "I was never in Doctor Who."

Anneke Wills: "Shit fam that’s some crazy ass shit going down up in here."

Ian Levine: "As the show’s number one fan I’m disappointed the BBC did not select me as the one to take on Chibnall. So I’m now working on an independent effort to take him down through the power of charity singles."

Former Doctor Colin Baker has reportedly made a comment, but the decision has been made to not yet to publish it in print form. The paper claims "Colin works a lot better on audio."

As far as we know, Chibnall is still at large at BBC Wales’ head office. If you or anyone you know is in the area, we strongly urge you to stay indoors and rewatch Series 2.

More information as soon as it comes. In the meantime, stay safe.

Something borrowed, something blue…
Sources at the BBC have seemingly dismissed the initial report as "nonsense" but some have suggested this is merely a result of the Valeyard having tampered with the video evidence before it could reach the BBC’s main offices. Don’t believe anything you read for the next few hours unless you see it reported here.

Following on from the confrontation with RTD, the local police were assisted by a specialist wing of the Cardiff police department who have managed to get their hands on a police box which they think might be their last hope of neutralizing the threat.

From some of the leaked body cam footage of several of the officers at the scene it appears that the First Doctor has stepped out of the police box and is now working to locate Chibnall who is believed to still be in the building. It is hoped that by showing him what Doctor Who originally was, he might repent for his misdeeds. One of my sources has reported that this is actually the Bradley Doctor, I will confirm this as soon as I can.

Meanwhile, The Mirror continues to provide comments from people associated with the show.

Murray Gold: "While I’m saddened by the news I’m not exactly shocked. He was always a deeply unpleasant man. During my first encounter with him, he took a hammer to my piano and told me my services were no longer required. He instead chose to compose future music for the show using a popular music composition game on a ‘SEGA Akinola’ games console."

Tom Baker (visibly confused): "Terribly exciting isn’t it. You know I played the Doctor the longest and of course I’m an old man now and don’t have the energy, but back then I could do it. Isn’t it wonderful. Who nose." (sic)

Steven Moffat’s whereabouts is currently unknown, but there is speculation that he is currently preparing to do battle with Chibnall.

Will bring you any new information as soon as I can.

Journey's end
Wow, what a crazy few hours it’s been in the world of Doctor Who. Just letting everyone know that police have officially confirmed that Chibnall has been neutralized and it is now safe to leave your home.

I want to point out that Peter Capaldi, who is currently in Los Angeles, did make a comment to an online news outlet but the reporter was American and therefore did not understand a word he said.

The Cardiff police department have announced that their plan worked. They have released a full audio recording of their encounter with Chibnall, who was found urinating on several classic Doctor Who props that had been used throughout the show’s long history. The following is a direct transcript of the audio recording with annotations based on the CPD’s timeline of the event. The two voices heard at the start are the First Doctor and Sgt. Stewart Lanny of the CPD (who we wish the best as he is currently in intensive care as a result of an injury sustained during the encounter). Lanny: "…probably the top floor… he’s probably at the top floor."

The Doctor: "Hmmmmmmmmmm hmmmmmmmm most perceptive young man."

Lanny: "Officer Wilcox you take the fire escape, Moore, Doctor, take the stairs with me."

The Doctor: "You must know I certainly shan’t be happy… all these stairs… (UNINTELLIGIBLE)… and I’m not a mountain goat.

The company makes their way to the top floor.

Lanny: "Alright grandad, he’s just through the door. We know you’re in there Chibnall. This is your last chance! Well? Right that’s it, ready lads."

The door is penetrated and the company surrounds Chris Chibnall.

Lanny: "Jig's up Chibnall. It’s time to give up. It’s the Doctor! The original Doctor who won the hearts and minds of audiences in 1963 and laid the ground work for the show’s long and celebrated legacy. Look how interesting and dynamic he is! Look at how he has a darker side that gets explored! Look how he does more than spout exposition!"

Chibnall: "Rrrrrrrrrraaaaaaahhhhhh!"

At this point the audio momentarily drops out, but according to police reports, Sgt. Lanny sustained a serious head injury after being struck by a Best Drama Series BAFTA Award that Chibnall was concealing behind his back. The audio resumes shortly after.

Chibnall: "…and there is nothing you can do to stop me, I wrote Broadchurch, I can do anything I want. And what I want doesn’t end here, Doctor. Oh no! See I’ve got a five-year plan. Year one, the show. Year two, the BBC, Year three the UK. Year four, the planet Earth. Then year five, and the whole universe shall belong to me. I don’t care about the show’s legacy, it means nothing to me, I’m immune, and soon everything shall be mine!"

The Doctor: "That’s very much where you’re mistaken, young man. Oh, I realize my presence has little effect on you. But thankfully it’s not just me. The original Doctor is here too hmmmhmmmm."

Chibnall: "Your iconic status means little to me, Doctor. Nothing in the world can stop me now!"

The Doctor: "Perhaps, perhaps. But you see, while I’m the First Doctor, I’m not the one who started it all. I’m merely following in his footsteps."

The TARDIS materialization sound begins to fill the room.

The Doctor: "You see, I may be a Doctor, but he is the Doctor, the original you might say!" The TARDIS doors swing open revealing a bright white light.

Chibnall: "No you can’t! That’s impossible! No no this can’t be!"

From the light emerges Sir David Tennant who starts to glide towards Chibnall, enveloping him with a form of magic gold light.

Chibnall: "Nooooooo. aggghghhghhghghghghghhjhndkaidne"

Chris Chibnall’s entire physical presence is utterly vaporized. Sir David Tennant takes one look at the officers in the room, and with a knowing smile begins to float upward as he ascends into Heaven.

A full, more detailed, report on the incident is expected to be released early tomorrow.

So to summarize, the rumours were completely true. Obviously, the future of the show is very uncertain.

Responding to questions from Channel 4’ entertainment corespondent, the head of BBC Drama Piers Wenger had this to say:

''The problem with Doctor Who is that it’s an incredibly difficult show to reboot. It is an incredibly narrow format, and there isn’t really any mechanism we can use to seamlessly continue the show. It’s not like you can still even call it the same show if you have a different leading actor and different people working on it behind the scenes. We’re looking into the possibility of continuing the show with a different main character as we want to avoid a situation that requires us to recast the Doctor as right now, we have no idea how that could be anything other than a disaster. Doctor Who is famous for not changing in any perceivable way so likely, given the circumstances, don’t expect to see it make a quick return to our screens. We have a lot to think over.''

TL;DR: This was a Reddit post.

Continuity
These events are generally understood to have memed the Chibnall Dimension into existence, where Chibnall awaits his victims in all eternity.